Requiescence
by Arktos
Summary: Allen dies accidentally, and Kanda is forced to bear the guilt…But with the help of a certain cursed exorcist’s ghost, Kanda’s determined to find a way to bring him back. Brotherly!AllenKanda, no pairings for now.
1. Duty

**Author's Note:** Why am I starting this, when I have so many other fics to finish?

Oh, and no, this isn't Yullen, just pure gen fic (which this fandom apparently needs). Yaoi/shonen ai just isn't my style, and Kanda's tough enough to work with in platonic relationships as it is. It'll be a challenge, but I like challenges. And gosh darn it, I'm going to use whatever name spellings sound best to me, despite what fandom says…mostly the ones I read in the translated manga volumes. Hey, not all of us read them online XD

**Summary:** Exorcism: the expulsion of demons, restless spirits or other supernatural entities that have possessed people. Kanda had never believed in ghosts before, but after finishing a blotched mission is forced to confront one, in the form of the recently deceased Allen. There is only one way to bring Allen back, but will time run out for Kanda before he finds it? Brotherly!AllenKanda, no pairings for now.

_D.Gray-man_ and all related **non-original** (as in, not made by myself) subjects © Katsura Hoshino, _Shonen Jump_, etc. I'm only borrowing them for a bit, and intend to return them whole and recognizable, I swear!

_**Requiescence**_

**Chapter One: Duty**

"_Get out of the way-"_

Yuu Kanda had never liked that cursed fool to begin with. He was loud, obnoxious and had one of the most irritatingly pleasant smiles the older exorcist had ever seen.

But that was nothing new, on his part at least. Everyone in the Order knew how much he detested that godforsaken brat of a beansprout.

"_Move it, idiot!" he'd snapped, not particularly caring if Mugen 'accidentally' decapitated the imbecile._

The stupidity of the teenager had, indeed, known no bounds. Kanda had never felt obligated to baby or socialize with the other exorcists, though his job naturally demanded a certain amount of cooperation with them occasionally.

However, He had single-handedly not only managed to make missions harder then they needed to be, but royally piss Kanda off in the process. It didn't take much to make the Japanese teenager angry, but very few succeeded to make him furious beyond words. Allen Walker was one of those privileged few.

"_KANDA, WATCH OUT!"_

And of course then Allen had to go and save his life, at the expense of his own. In such a sickeningly heroic way, too; an akuma blood bullet to the heart wasn't exactly a peaceful way to die.

Not that Kanda was bothered by his death. Exorcists died often in the line of fire, and Kanda was used to absent-mindedly picking out the empty seats that had only days before had a living, breathing person laughing and joking along with their halfwit friends. It was unfortunate, it was common, and it was old news by suppertime. That, quite simply, was life. Something Kanda had accepted long ago.

He bore no animosity towards them. He just didn't care unless it affected a mission, or meant he would have to work harder.

However, as annoying as it was too admit, Kanda felt vaguely cheated. His strict upbringing had emphasized many things, one of the foremost had been honour. He had a debt to pay, but at the same time was unable to fulfill. It was strangely vexing, to know that Allen had indeed gotten the last laugh…and that Kanda was allowing an obligation to a dead man to bother him this much when he should be doing something productive.

Nevertheless, there Kanda sat in his sparsely furnished room, still wearing his torn, bloodied uniform and staring blankly at the hourglass that quite literally meant the difference between his life and death. The sun was setting, casting a bright, dying orange glow across the room and illuminating finer details difficult to spot at any other time of the day. Had it been anyone else, they would have considered the scene almost poetic.

Tch. He was getting soft.

It hadn't even been a difficult mission, just the same mysterious disappearances near some Church or other in London, coupled with strange eyewitness testimonies that seemed to point to the work of a level one akuma.

One blood bullet aimed at him, that was all it took. Kanda had watched with his own eyes as the dark, ominous stars spread across Allen's face…as his wistful smile disintegrated into dust-

Kanda massaged his forehead, hunched over in a position that for anyone else would have appeared almost vulnerable. The memory of the smell and taste of blood made the teenager's stomach queasy, his breathing heavy and erratic. _I shouldn't dwell on such pointless thoughts…_

He didn't feel any empathy towards Allen. The dead were blissfully removed from the pain the living suffered; a mixed blessing that often tempted even the best of men. But even Kanda was incapable of moving past death when it was so close, so sudden and so…unnecessary.

He wasn't going to cry for someone he'd never cared for in life, or so he told himself. Because truthfully, although Kanda prided himself on not getting involved in pointless niceties, he wasn't as cold as most people thought him to be. No one could be.

_**Kanda…**_

He stiffened immediately, a feeling akin to fear racing through his body as a chill ran down his spine. That voice…Allen?

Kanda looked up quickly, his eyes only meeting the hourglass that faithfully sat across from him. "Who's there?"

There was no answer. The tension seeped out of his body as his muscles relaxed, and he berated himself inwardly for letting his senses be compromised so easily. Only a day or two had passed since…since Allen had died, and he had been on edge the entire time. He started at the smallest noise; froze every time he thought he saw something dart out the corner of his eye.

It was pathetic, and quite unbecoming for such an accomplished exorcist as himself.

However, that painfully obvious fact didn't reassure Kanda the least bit. He had no reason to fear a nameless horror, but for some unexplainable reason the exorcist couldn't help himself.

Fear was not an emotion he was accustomed to feeling.

"Kanda? Are you there?" But then the uneasy silence was abruptly broken by a familiar red-haired Bookman, dispelling the shadowy doubts that haunted Kanda's thoughts.

Moments later, he appeared at the door, a solemn look in place of his normal ridiculous grin. Even from across the room, Kanda could see the tear tracks that Rabi had tried so carefully to rub away, his reddened eyes only confirming his suspicion that the other exorcist had been crying.

"Linali's getting…what's left of the body ready. She just wanted to say a few rites, before…"

_Before they buried him_, Kanda wanted to finish, so great was his annoyance. It was hard to say and it wouldn't change anything once it was said, except perhaps help them to accept it and move on with their lives. But he didn't, holding his tongue for once out of some semblance of respect for the closest thing to a friend he had. Not that he needed friends.

Instead, he opted for something far less likely to provoke conflict. "Why is she in charge of the preparations? Doesn't that useless supervisor brother of hers need help with his mountains of paperwork?"

Rabi shrugged, a casual gesture that contradicted his sad expression. "She wanted to make sure it was done properly, I guess…Allen was a good friend to her. To all of us."

"Not to me." Kanda replied bluntly. For a split second, he thought he saw a mixture of anger and resentment flicker across the Bookman's face, which quickly melted away to reveal a tired appearance that didn't suit Rabi at all.

"Couldn't you have at least a little compassion for a guy who gave his life away to save yours?"

Kanda wasn't moved the slightest. "As infuriatingly true as that may be, might I remind you that **Allen is dead**, and as such I have no way to repay that debt. Blubbering and spouting false sentiments about him won't make any difference."

"You could attend his funeral." Rabi pointed out.

Kanda snorted. "I'm sure the idiot would appreciate that."

For a moment, Kanda could swear he heard a sob. But Rabi wasn't crying, and neither was he, so what…?

"Well, it's a start." Rabi interrupted his thoughts. "You might not like the guy, but you could at least pay your respects to a fellow comrade. Can't you do that much?"

The silence lingered on for a few minutes, before Rabi sighed. "It's at nine o'clock tonight. Do whatever you want."

And with that, the door closed, leaving Kanda to once again mull over pointless questions that he had no answers to…but not for long.

--

_There was blood, and then a white-hot flash of pain as he was hit by the bullet. Allen could feel the virus spreading throughout his whole body quickly, and he realized with a calm sort of certain clarity that he was dying. He managed a sad smile at Kanda, who could only stare at him in horror as-_

Allen opened his eyes, breathing heavily and shaking all over as the nightmarish scene played itself over and over in his head.

_Just a dream…it wasn't real, it never happened…_Still, the teenager didn't dare move, scared beyond all reason that once he did, he'd find a bloody and obviously fatal hole in his stomach, or familiar purple stars slowly spreading across his skin.

Shivering at the thought, he sat up, nearly falling back down when he was hit by a wave of overwhelming dizziness. Clutching his forehead and wincing at the throbbing headache that quickly presented itself, he forced his vision to focus.

Strange as it seemed, he was lying in the middle of one of the older, less traversed hallways in the Order. The only time he could remember seeing it was when he'd first arrived, and Linali had taken him on a tour around Headquarters…

_What am I doing here?_ Allen thought, puzzled. Getting up, he stood unsteadily and tentatively took a step forward.

To his great relief, he only felt momentarily disoriented, and he managed to shuffle closer to the wall. He reached out to brace himself against it, but to his great shock, his hand went **right through** the wall like it wasn't even there.

_What the-_ But he didn't have time to finish that thought. Caught off balance, Allen slipped and fell completely through the wall, landing on the floor in a heap. He lay there for a few moments, still recovering from the shock that he'd just managed to pass through **a wall**.

_Oh man…that isn't n-natural…_He thought incredulously, frantically searching for a logical explanation. It failed to reveal itself.

Allen sighed unsteadily, trying to calm himself and think rationally._ This is just a dream, obviously…people can't fall through walls. It just doesn't work that way._

Come to think of it, he couldn't really feel anything, could he? Allen realized at once he couldn't feel the coolness of the wooden floor or anything…besides the headache earlier, he hadn't been able to feel anything else.

_R-right, this is just in my imagination…_He thought nervously, slowly getting up again. To Allen's surprise, his earlier wooziness had all but faded, replaced by a faint pounding in his ears.

The sound of trembling breathing drew his attention, and he looked up to find himself face to face with Kanda. Eyes widening, he scrambled back immediately, cringing automatically in anticipation of pain and closing his eyes. When none was forthcoming, he opened one eye a slight bit. Why hadn't Kanda killed him yet?

The sight that met his eyes was an odd one indeed. Kanda Yuu, normally the picture of expressionless disdain, had his hands covering his face and looked…almost sad.

"…Kanda?"

Kanda started immediately, looking up and straight up at Allen with something akin to panic. Allen drew back, distressed by this sudden display of emotion.

However, it left as quickly as it came, as Kanda's expression abruptly changed to a more familiar annoyed look. "Who's there?"

Allen didn't make a sound, as if speaking alone would condemn him. The silence seemed to satisfy the Japanese exorcist. He relaxed, his eyes drifting towards the floor with a distant, unfocused look to them.

_Why can't he see me?_ Allen thought, a sudden feeling of panic making him freeze on the spot. Maybe it was…no, it couldn't be…

_I'm not dead I'm not dead I'm __**not dead**__…_

But then why had he been lying in the hallway? Despite how desperately Allen tried to remember, all he managed to draw was a blank. It had to be a dream, but then why did his heart pound so loudly in his ears with fright? Why couldn't he shake the feeling that something was terribly wrong?

"Kanda? Are you there?" A sudden voice and the sound of footsteps caught Allen's attention, and he looked up to see Rabi at the door. His eyes looked red, and his breath hitched a bit. In other words, the red-haired exorcist looked miserable, despite the deceivingly cheerful smile he sported. Upon seeing Kanda, however, the smile abruptly faded.

Allen opened his mouth, then shut it abruptly, self-consciously turning back towards Kanda. He looked as unreadable as ever, but in his own way strangely relieved by Rabi's entrance. Somehow, Allen knew that speaking now and trying to find out if they really couldn't hear him would be a bad decision…a realization that confused him, as much as it felt like the right thing to do.

Apparently sensing Kanda's current fragile state, Rabi hesitated briefly before speaking. "Linali's getting…what's left of the body ready. She just wanted to say a few rites, before…"

Allen's eyes widened, and he felt himself tense a bit more. Body? What body? Did someone die? Why hadn't Rabi noticed him? It wasn't like him to ignore Allen for no reason…

_Not me, please don't let it be me…I'm not dead, I'm…I'm alive!_ Allen clung to that thought as if his life depended on it, as grimly ironic as the comparison was. An unspeakable terror gripped him, and Allen tried his best to fight it down and regain his composure. He succeeded after a few minutes, though shadowy trepidation lurked at the back of his mind.

To Allen's surprise, it was Kanda spoke up again. "Why is she in charge of the preparations? Doesn't that useless supervisor brother of hers need help with his mountains of paperwork?"

Allen quickly turned back to look at Rabi just in time to see him shrug. "She wanted to make sure it was done properly, I guess…Allen was a good friend to her. To all of us."

Those words were like a kick in the stomach, and for a moment Allen couldn't breath from the terror and incredible, distressed grief that wiped everything else from his mind. But then what did breathing matter, if he was dead? Did anything matter anymore if he was lying somewhere dead and rotting and-

He sank to his knees, willing the terrible away as if willpower alone could keep him from the truth. Tears slowly trickled down his face noiselessly, leaving small wet drops on the neatly swept wooden floor. How could he cry? How come he could walk through walls, but didn't fall through the floor? Nothing was making any sense! It had to be a dream, it had to!

"Not to me." Allen looked up numbly at the words, barely registering the meaning behind him. Another insult to add to injury, though not an unexpected one, which was a comfort (or something close to resembling one, by this point) at least. Kanda looked as cold as ever, with no trace of sentiment or respect.

But Rabi was far from satisfied with Kanda's pitiless opinion. "Couldn't you have at least a little compassion for a guy who gave his life away to save yours?"

"As infuriatingly true as that may be, might I remind you that **Allen is dead**, and as such I have no way to repay that debt. Blubbering and spouting false sentiments about him won't make any difference." Kanda scoffed. Allen nodded mutely, able to follow his reasoning, however cruel it sounded.

"You could attend his funeral." Allen cringed at the word, hardly able to accept that this was truly happening and he wasn't...alive. The tears came faster, and he couldn't hold back a strangled sob.

Kanda snorted. "I'm sure the idiot would appreciate that."

"Well, it's a start. You might not like the guy, but you could at least pay your respects to a fellow comrade. Can't you do that much?"

Silence. Rabi sighed. "It's at nine o'clock tonight. Do whatever you want."

Then he left. Allen didn't bother to get up, wanting nothing more to collapse on his bed and pretend none of this had ever happened. He was tired…so tired; in spite of the fact he had no reason to be. He held up his right hand, his vision blurred by his tears. Distantly, Allen wondered how he could look and feel normal…despite the fact he obviously wasn't.

This wasn't a dream. And though Allen had known it from the beginning, admitting it made him feel helpless. Dead, which meant he couldn't fight akuma. Dead, which meant he'd let down his friends. Dead…which meant everything was over, and he no longer had a purpose. But how could he go on as a ghost, if that indeed was what he was? Did that mean there was no heaven or hell, or he was stuck in purgatory?

The sadness threatened to consume him, so Allen forced himself take a shaky breath and stand up. He couldn't give up, not when he still…existed, and might be able to contact Rabi and the others.

Wiping away his tears, the teenager steeled himself. There was only one option he could see before him now; try to see if Kanda could really hear him.

"Kanda?…Can you hear me?"

--

Is anyone OOC? Did I miss any spelling/grammar errors? Let me know, I'm always up for constructive criticism :) I'm sorry this is so short, but since it's the beginning chapter I figured I could get away with that. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have overdue homework to finish…


	2. Promise

Author's Note: Why am I starting this, when I have so many other fics to finish

**Author's Note:** Hello again, and thank you for the reviews! They helped me straighten out a small error I made (I meant to write something else, but apparently my mind is faster than my typing XD) and something I realized I hadn't made clear enough.

Oh, and if you can, please review! I love hearing what people think about my writing, because it gives me a chance to improve. I mean, you don't absolutely _have_ to…but I'm generally in a better mood and write more when I get lots of reviews ;D

_**Requiescence**_

**Chapter Two: Promise**

"…Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me…"

It was quiet. The dining hall was packed with people, but no one moved. All except Kanda had their heads bowed, in respect to the dead. And yet despite the incredible amount of people present, Allen had somehow made an impression on them all; A feat Kanda couldn't help but feel dimly impressed with. How could one person know so many people, even over the course of a thousand lifetimes?

Allen was sitting next to him, on the (unsurprisingly) empty bench Kanda had managed to secure at the back. Funerals were nothing new for the Black order; life had to move on, no matter how many exorcists died in the line of fire. But still, Kanda wouldn't be surprised if everyone in Headquarters had shown up. The vacant benches that had at one time held fellow exorcists stood as an eerie reminder of what awaited them all eventually.

Kanda didn't dare look to his side, already knowing Allen was watching the proceedings. Every instinct he possessed was telling him to run, as sickly fear made the hair on the back of his neck stand up. It was something he'd noticed when he was around Allen, a feeling of wrongness that intensified with proximity. Kanda stubbornly fought the temptation to move away; he would **not** show weakness, especially in front of that damned idiot.

"Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness…for I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, fear not; I will help thee."

"_**You can see me, can't you?"**_

Kanda shook his head, as if to clear away the unwanted memory. Without turning his head, he glanced in Allen's direction. The younger teenager was bent over, his face covered by his hands. Kanda suspected he was crying.

He felt a brief flicker of contempt. Why did the imbecile have to be so melodramatic? Allen was dead, end of story. He should get back to his feet and move forward; take his own advice for once. Kanda had lost track of how many times he'd heard that hypocritical fool carelessly spout such stupid sentiments.

And, being Kanda, he felt no obligations whatsoever to avoid telling him this in the near future. Though the Japanese exorcist was still convinced he was hallucinating, he'd never hesitated to speak his mind before.

"Stop blubbering." Kanda murmured, trying not to move his lips much. Though he didn't particularly care what people thought of him, Kanda had no desire to encourage an reputation of insanity. It made his missions more difficult.

After a pause, Allen straightened, looking over at Kanda. He still looked utterly miserable, but he hadn't been crying.

Kanda nodded respectfully (for once). Good, the beansprout still had guts; perhaps the only trait Kanda had ever admired in the younger exorcist. It was something Allen would need quite a bit of to get through the funeral service, if Kanda's intuition could be trusted. And of course it could.

It was at that moment that Kanda realized Linali had stopped speaking, closing her heavy Bible shut with an audible thud. The sudden sound startled everyone present, and for a moment the Chinese exorcist looked close to tears. Shutting her eyes and obviously trying to collect herself, she sighed before fixing a small, wistful smile on her face. Kanda hated seeing her like this, something he'd never admit out loud or to himself.

"Allen was a good exorcist, and a good friend. He was one of the most caring people I've ever met…and respected everyone around him, no matter their faults or their backgrounds. He was always willing to lend a helping hand, to the point…"

Linali hesitated briefly, tears starting to fill her eyes. She roughly wiped them away, her voice hoarse with emotion as she spoke next. "…to the point of giving his life to save another's. Allen never shied from responsibility, and was an inspiration to us all."

"He let his emotions get in the way of his missions." Kanda said candidly, breaking the attentive silence. He knew rather than saw Allen as he tensed beside him, and everyone turned to give him a disproving stare. Linali looked him straight in the eye, matching his cold, defiant stare.

"It's not polite to mention Allen's faults at his funeral." She said, her tone quiet but carrying an underlying warning tone. "Especially since that very flaw is the reason you're here."

Kanda scoffed, looking away and getting up. "Fine, I'm going."

Allen watched him leave, numb. He was grateful for the lack of feeling; it made it easier to think, and he knew all to well that once he got away from Kanda he'd probably break down into tears. He was dead, and that was that; there was no way he could continue his mission now, no way he could dream of living a normal life someday like he used to.

But Kanda could see him. Why was something Allen hadn't figured out yet, but at this point it was the thing farthest from his mind…

Looking back towards the podium, Allen distantly noted that Rabi was reciting his eulogy now, not even managing to compose himself as Linali had. The atmosphere of the dining hall was oppressive, stifling; full of sadness and old memories. There was a bitterly heartrending pang in his chest, as if his non-existent heart was crying out in pain. His friends looked so despondent, and there was nothing he could do to help, to tell them he was still here.

"Allen w-was…well, really one of the c-closest friends I ever had…"

Turning away, Allen stood up and followed Kanda. He couldn't stay anymore, it hurt too much. Walking a bit faster, Allen quickly caught up to Kanda, falling into step with him automatically. Kanda inclined his head slightly in the younger exorcist's direction for a moment, the only acknowledgement Allen expected to receive. He was quickly proven wrong.

"I'll bring you back."

The whispered words were so quiet, so casually spoken, that for a moment Allen wondered if he'd heard correctly. He stopped, watching Kanda's steadily retreating back with a mixture of anxiety, growing hope and suspicion.

"…What did you say?"

Allen had expected Kanda to continue walking, like the callous antisocial he'd always claimed to be. But Kanda once again surprised him, halting and looking back at Allen…and straight into his eyes.

"You're a valuable asset in this war against the Millennium Earl. No one else has an eye like yours, and no one else is capable of influencing the members of the Order to such an extent. Furthermore, you saved my life, which means I have no choice but to repay that debt as best as my abilities allow." The words echoed in the dusty, vaulted hallway, fading away slowly into silence.

"How? Why?" The words slipped out of his mouth before Allen had barely given them any thought, and he found himself regretting them immediately afterward. Kanda wasn't someone you could question, especially considering he was (strangely enough) offering to help...

Why? Why did he say that he would? Kanda wasn't entirely heartless, but saving comrades (above all one that was already dead) had never been one of his top priorities. He'd said quite bluntly that he wouldn't help Allen on any of their missions together, and had expressed a unmistakable disdain for him time and time again.

Kanda remained impassive as always. "I think I might have some idea where to start…and don't ask something so stupid, beansprout. I already told you why I'm doing this."

And Allen knew there and then that Kanda wasn't hiding anything. There was nothing more to it then what he'd already said. It was so straightforward and simple, Allen wondered why he'd bothered to question it. Having Allen alive again was an advantage for Kanda, and leaving him dead with so many questions unanswered…wasn't.

To put it plainly, logic dictated he needed to be alive. The perfect simplicity of it all was so cold and emotionless…but ironically enough, worked in Allen's favour.

"Thank you." Allen replied softly, though both of them knew the sentiment was meaningless. It implied a comfortable understanding, where only uneasy confusion existed instead.

The eighteen-year-old didn't bother to reply. Looking away, he continued down the corridor, Allen trailing behind him reluctantly.

Kanda slept fitfully that night, drifting in and out of so many nightmares and dreams he could barely keep track of them all. Allen sat on his desk like a silent sentinel, eventually leaving to wander around headquarters. The teenager knew without really knowing how he knew that he couldn't sleep, not that he would have been able to after the events of the previous day. And so hours past with neither of them bothering to talk to another, content to pretend for the moment things had returned to normal.

Later the next morning, Linali stopped by to tell Kanda that Komui wanted him to come to his office for his newest assignment. This was unbeknownst to Allen, who had taken to drifting through the library in the hopes of finding something useful to reverse this all.

In fact, Allen tried to stay out of Kanda's way for the most part. This was to the older exorcist's great relief, though Allen had no way of knowing that. To Allen, it was only a useless gesture of defiance. No matter how much he disliked Kanda, he was someone he could talk to and focus on, unlike everywhere else he went where he saw something that reminded him of-

_No, I won't think about it._ Allen thought forcefully, after finding himself outside his old room. There was no other way he could deal with it. For the time being at least, he needed to remain strong. Otherwise…well, he didn't want to think of what might happen if he gave in.

With this in mind, it probably wasn't unexpected when he ran into Kanda shortly after breakfast near the science section. Kanda didn't even twitch, his eyes sliding past Allen as if he wasn't even there. After a moment of bewilderment, he abruptly realized that Kanda probably didn't want Linali to ask any difficult questions.

"…reports of strange activity near the…are you listening to me, Kanda?"

Both Allen and Kanda started, the latter's shocked look quickly turning to a glare. "Of course I was."

Komui regarded him suspiciously, obviously not convinced. Kanda cursed inwardly, knowing if even Komui noticed his diverted attention he wasn't hiding it very well. Truth to be told, Kanda was beginning to regret his earlier assurance to Allen…Kanda hadn't exactly lied when he said he'd had an idea where to start, but it wasn't something he was keen on investigating into.

_Is this really worth the effort?_ He thought with more than a twinge of annoyance, watching Allen out of the corner of his eye, who had his gaze firmly focused on the wall. The fifteen-year-old hadn't managed to get on Kanda's nerves much at all in the past few hours, something a nicer person probably would have worried about. It wasn't like Allen to be this…depressed.

Thankfully, Kanda had never really considered himself a nice person to begin with. Although he knew and didn't bother to question the fact that he normally would have considered a mission briefing more important then a semi-transparent former comrade.

"Kanda?"

"Yes?" Kanda looked back at Komui, a bored expression gradually replacing his irritated frown. Oh well, he supposed having to deal with a bunch of disheartened exorcists for an undetermined period of time was something he wanted to avoid anyway.

Komui sighed, well used to Kanda's unfriendly ways by now. "There's a train leaving for London this afternoon at 1:30. Get on it. I've already written down the finer details of your mission, so be sure to carry a briefcase or something to keep all that paper safe. Normally, I'd send you with a partner…but Rabi and Linali are the only ones available in the near future, and they've been through a lot lately. I'm sure you could take care of something this minor by yourself anyway."

Kanda nodded slightly, slightly displeased that he had been sent on an unimportant mission. Akuma activity had been suspiciously absent in the past few months, besides the fateful mission he'd undertaken with Allen a day or so before. Gathering up the previously mentioned paperwork, he turned to leave.

"Kanda, it's hard for all of us. You don't need to pretend. I know you're dealing with your grief in your own way, but it's okay to ask for support."

The Japanese exorcist felt his eyebrow twitch in exasperation at the cheerful, naïve words, rounding on Komui absolutely livid. "I don't-"

Upon seeing the chief's expression however, Kanda faltered. Looking back, Allen saw exactly why. Tears were streaming down Komui's cheeks, his teeth clenched and a hand gripping his pen so hard Allen thought it might snap.

"It's okay to ask for support…because I'm certain you feel as responsible for Allen's death as I do."

For a moment, the room was completely silent. Allen watched with bated breath, wondering why he was so strangely fascinated by the scene unfolding before him. He'd never really given much thought to what everyone else said about him when Allen wasn't around…but now he was about to find out.

"Che, I'm not a bleeding heart like you are. What sort of supervisor allows himself to fall apart just because of one death? Suck it up, I'm sure if anyone could find some miraculous way to defy death it would be that idiot."

Kanda was smiling. A slight upturn of the lips, close to a smirk but somehow less self-righteous, almost unnoticeable to the naked eye…but there, nonetheless. Allen couldn't help but think it looked painful, and found himself smiling slightly at the thought despite himself.

Komui also smiled, rubbing away the tears and acting as if they had never been there, his tone almost teasing. "I should have known better to expect any genuine compassion from you."

Kanda snorted. "Yes, you should have."

Allen whipped around to stare at the older exorcist. Had he just…made a joke? No, he must be imagining things. This was Kanda, the epitome of seriousness and (questionable, Allen might add) maturity. Either the apocalypse was nigh, or Allen was reading into this too much.

But he didn't get a chance to mull it over for long. Kanda had already set off towards his room to pack, intent on his mission.

--

As always, let me know if there were any small inconsistencies or errors! Oh, and once the English dub of the _D.Gray-man_ anime comes out (there's been nothing official, but we all **know** it will happen :3) I'll go back and change the names in this fic to reflect that. Just so you know.

And before you ask, I know everybody else uses 'baited breath', but it's not the correct spelling and sounds silly to me. Nothing much happened this chapter, but at least it's slightly longer than the previous one. I _promise_ (oh, the irony) that things will pick up soon!


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